You gotta catch up.

Well, I don't really even know where to start. I feel like there is so much for me to explain for most of you to even halfway understand why I'm writing this blog. I guess I will start back a little more than two years ago.

Senior year of high school my two year long sweetheart broke up with me and my life pretty much fell apart. Yea, I was one of those girls who was hopelessly in love with a boy who I wanted to marry. I was blind to the unhealthy issues of our relationship that completely tore down my life. He was my dream, my love, my ideal. He was sadly my life. So when he left, so did everything that I knew. BUT! It was the best thing that ever happened to me. After we broke up I found Christ and became saved. I had a wonderful friend who stood by my side for the messy months to follow, ironically her name is Grace. I am happy to say that I am completely changed from the person I was in high school. Yes people really can change. I became more independent, confident, strong and happy. I even did a beauty pageant and won 3rd place out of 500 girls in the summer to follow. I remember the first morning that I woke up actually feeling happy, true happiness, even though I really had no reason to be. Jesus Christ changed my life. I was dead before and now I am truly alive. It is only threw the Lord that I have been able to live out the life that has been given to me. A lot of people think that a Christian life is easy but my life has been anything but that. 

Shortly after my brake up and salvation, my parents drove themselves into hell... oh wait, I meant debt. My mom was a stay home mom and my Dad owned his own Car wash restate company. He use to make like 90,000 a deal but then the economy crashed. Within a year, my parents went threw their savings (because they didn't really have any. Lesson learned there?), maxed out their credit cards and took my twin sisters and my college funds. Yea... I'm not kidding. It was by the grace of God and a 0 on my parents FAFSA score that my twin sister and I even went to college. My twin sister and I have had a lot of anger toward our parents fininially over the last few years but we have learned to forgive and get over it all. Life isn't about money and how much you make. I do not want to waste my life worshiping money and what is says it has to offer. I'd rather be poor and worship the Lord of all creation because he actually follows threw on what He has to offer.

So off to college I went. YEA PARTY!!! no wait... not really. I for the most part am a goody two shoes. I did drink but no one would describe me as a partier. I do not do drugs and I'm not interested in boys because they are just that... boys. If you find a man out there please give him my number. ;) I'm just kidding, there was some boy drama my freshman year but not any worth mentioning or really remembering for that matter. My twin sister and my relationship was up and down all the time... but that is for a later blog.

Summer came and I was off to a Navigator Summer Tanning program. All summer long, I worked at the YMCA of the Rockies in Winter Park Colorado with all the dead Pine Trees and wildlife that was no where to be found. I worked in the craft shop and I loved it. The craft shop part I loved, not the Navs training program but that is for another blog. ;)

Sadly my life took a huge turn for the worst when my summer came to an end. My older brother John, the oldest sibling died. I'll never forget that phone call and drive home. The whole next semester I was completely depressed. I skipped school whenever I didn't want to get out of bed. I hardly ever answered my phone and I pretty much never ate. I didn't know how to move on and for a while I was all alone. When I started having suicidal thoughts was when I reached out to my two most trusted friends Grace and Kayla. They started coming over more and talking to me. Just their presence alone made me feel better. Becoming isolated is probably one of the worst things someone can do because it's a quick road to the worst kind of depression you can imagine. Words from someone who has been there, if you know anyone going through any kind of grief, go be with them. Who cares how awkward it might be for you because you don't know what to say. It's not about you! So get off your butt and just go visit them so that they know you care.

It was a hard road to finish but I am happy to say that I made it out okay from my brothers death. I actually got a dog. His name is Tony and he is a Sheltie. He was nine when I bought him from the shelter and that dog helped save my life. He gave me a reason to get out of bed. He needed me. He needed me to feed him, bathe him, brush him and walk him. He got me outside and seeing my friends. You'd be surprised how animal deprived college students are, so when one of you gets a dog, everyone wants to come visit. Knowing that I was needed by that cute little innocent dog really helped me come out of the darkness and start living again. Tony was my little miracle from God. No really, he was. Because the day after I prayed for a dog, I received a phone call from a shelter saying he was mine if I wanted him. And that day, he did become mine. I loved him from the moment I saw him. 

Now that was just a quick overview of the last two years but I didn't even really come close to covering all of it. My family life is a little CRAZY! But that is what my future blogs are going to be about. My life. Every once in a while I will talk about the past so that you understand the present but for the most part this blog is going to be about the crazy things I have gone through and the wisdom I have gotten out of them. Aren't you excited? I know you're excited! So you'll have to follow me to get the whole story. 

Isn't it a wonderful life?