Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Americanized Life

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of living in Peru for a month. It was the summer before my senior year of high school. I went with a random group of people (from my community kind of formed around my high school sweethearts family) on a 9 hour flight to Lima and then traveled two hours by bus to a small fishing town called Pucasana. The town was tiny but very active. People were always on the move. I loved to watch the fisherman and see what they loaded off their boats. I even saw a Swordfish once. And the first morning we were there, there was an earthquake! Way to kick off the trip right? Haha, it was small. Everyone was fine but it's not everyday that you can say that. ;)

But my group and I spent time getting to know the towns people and students at the school we worked at. I taught English to my best ability to a class of 14-16 year olds. It was interesting and hard but I loved it. They knew as much English as I did Spanish so we did alright with communicating. I grew to love my students. There was even one day were a few of us made cookies and listened to American music. My team and I would play games with the students all the time. Everyone was so interested to see how “the Americans” did and said stuff. At lunch time, my team would eat together. And let me just say that the food there was A-MAZING! But in the evening, my team would talk about all we were doing and pray over the time we had with the people there. I was truly blessed by the people in my team. It really is truly wonderful how well you get to know strangers you live and work with on a missions trip. It amazes me how open you can be with a total stranger.

Anyway, for the first two weeks I was there, we spent most of our time building onto a hospital. We built a clinic so that the hospital could hold people over night instead of traveling two hours into the city, with someone dying in the backseat. It took us a whole two weeks to finish the clinic but it looked beautiful. We took down stone walls and put in concrete ones. We built a wooden roof and tiled the floors. We gave them electricity and glass windows to look out. Lastly we carved two long wooden light switched by the door that said “God is Love” in English and Spanish. The hospital had never looked better. 

On one of the first days we were at the hospital, a group of five women came and explained that they MUST talk to us. So we had our translate translate as one of the old ladies talked. She explained to us that ever since the hospital was built, it was never finish and for a long time people just waited for something to happen. But then these five women got together and started praying for a group of people to come finish the hospital. She explained that they had prayed for us to come, they had prayed for seven years. That was probably one of the most amazing things I had ever heard and I still hold that story very close to my heart. The power of prayer is an amazing thing people!

But anyway, after my team headed home, three of us girls stayed behind. Another team of just Doctors came and treated the towns people for free. Everyone just waited in lines for hours without getting angry so they could see the doctors. I mean, it was hot and people had to be tired but they waited patiently holding their sick children. You would never see that happen in America. A group of men even helped an old man into the hospital because he had broken his leg years before but it never healed right. I will never forget a little boy brought in by his father with what looked like blisters all over his back. He father explained that he must have gotten it from the dogs. And this is how these people lived! America has some of the best doctors in the world and I have a whole new appreciation for them.

For the last two weeks I was there, I lived with a lady named Elena, her two sons and two other girls who stayed behind with me, one of them being my boyfriends sister Kristen. She and I had some pretty interestingly funny stories and grew closer. 

Elena taught herself and her sons English. She was the principle of the school that I taught at and she was one of the most faithful Christian woman I have ever met. I will never forget her and our long evening conversations on the porch. Those last two weeks, I really got to spend time with the students and Elena’s family. We shopped and talked. We played Frisbee on the beach and eat oranges. I even was invited to one of my students 16th birthday parties. And in the Spanish community the 16th birthday (The Quinceanera) is one of the most important. It was the celebration from when a girl becomes a woman. I was so honored to be there. We danced, eat and drank all night long. It was wonderful. I loved experiencing the culture.

Sometimes when I wake up in the early morning and walk outside, I have a flash back to when I lived in Peru. It's funny how just the hint of sunscreen and fish can take me back to those morning I work up and saw the ocean outside my window. I miss the amazing people who had nothing but were happy as if they had everything. I miss speaking Spanish and playing with my students. I miss Peru very much and hope to go back someday if God is willing.

But to close I must share the biggest part of Peru that I took home with me. The hospital that we worked at, was out in an area called “The Barrios”. It was the poorest of the poor. These people lived in cardboard boxes literally. They used whatever they could to make a roof. They had no beds, they just sleep on the dirt. No bathroom, no windows, no cars or toys. They had one room and a small hole in the roof, that smoke could go out of when they had whatever food they could get to cook over their tiny stove. Now, I’m talking families of five were living in these homes. Some of the students that I taught lived there. It was so sad. But the people always smiled and the children always laughed. To this day, I don’t understand why they were so happy. They had nothing. They lived in dirt. But they were happy. Some say it is because they didn’t know any better, meaning that they don’t understand how poor they actually are. But I think they did. They knew all that us Americans had. They saw our ipods, Nikon cameras, Mac computers, classy guitars and our brand name cloths. But instead of seeing all they didn’t have, they choose just to be content with what they did have and they had each other. They put worth in being alive, going to school and having a family. They were happy because they could be happy. Their happiness is also something that I have tucked deep into my heart and helped change the way I live.

Why are Americans not happy like that? Like the Peruvians? I didn’t even truly understand that kind of happiness until I became a Saved Christian a few months after this trip. I know that I am a completely different, freer, happy person now. Like the Peruvians. I am saved by Grace through faith, not by the good life I live or the materials I have. I know and believe in this salvation because I put my worth in my God, the creator of all earth and in my Lord Jesus Christ, who died for my sins. And just below that, I put worth in my loyal, encouraging, wise friends and in my loving, dramatic family. Relationships are worth fighting for and having. My Peruvian friends saw that and now I do also.

Sadly, since my trip to Peru, I kind of seen Americans as rude, snobbish and angry. Even though we have everything! Americans are not looked at as nice people in other countries and honestly, I completely understand why. Americans are selfish and only care about themselves. These people in Peru helped each other and always smiled when saying hello. I can’t even say that much about Americans. Now, I’m not trying to beat down on the USA. Go red, white and blue! God bless America… because we need it! But all I am saying is that my eyes have been opened. Americans are materialistic and unhappy. Gosh! Count your blessings people! I know how well off I am and I am thankful. And I’m not even that well off. But at least I have a home with a roof, a bed, a toilet, an education and Chipotle! BUT if all my wealth brings is rudeness and entitlement to have more then I want nothing of it. I want true happiness and you can only get that from the Lord. So strip me of my Americanized life and make me poor. Living on less is what I learned in Peru and it really has made me a much happier person. 

Isn't it a wonderful life?


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Commitment

About two weeks ago I was a bridesmaid in my older sister Angela’s wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. My sister was gorgeous and my new brother in law is one that I am very thankful for. I cried during their vows and for the father daughter dance. I cried because there is SO much meaning behind all the actions in a wedding. By itself, the whole father walking his daughter down the aisle in her white dress alone has so much meaning that I’ve heard whole sermons on it.


Since the wedding, I have done a lot of thinking about… well… weddings. Just in the last year, I have been to five weddings and I already have two more lined up for next summer. HOLY CRAP! Why the heck is everyone getting married? Gosh people, take a chill pill on your crazy love thing. Ha, I might just be a little, tiny bit jealous since there is no one special in my life. But I recently realized that almost all of my close relationships are with women who are practically engaged or already married. Half of them are my age and the other half are all my sisters.


I heard a sermon a few weeks ago on the idea of love and marriage. This Pastor was saying how love alone doesn’t make a married work. It is a mix of love and commitment. Commitment is based on being selfless, not selfish. Love is an emotion that drives our actions but commitment is a choice to stick by someone. Love can fade or easily be subdued when anger is in the room. But commitment is what keeps two people together.


And after much thought, I must say that I totally agree with this Pastor. I realized how committed my God is, to not just to me but every person on the planet. God is Love but He is also Commitment. I am SO thankful to have a Lord who is always choosing to be with me, chase after me when I’m mad and love on me when I’m sad. The whole reason we even have marriage is to help us better understand the never ending commitment our God has for us. God has set the perfect example that we should let guide us in commitment. God NEVER leaves. We should try to stay committed to others the way God is committed to us. (Now I know there are good biblical reasons for and against divorce but I'm not talking about that. So put those thoughts aside.)


Having a ring on your finger after a wedding is nice but it does not entrust commitment. The ring is beautiful but it is just a symbol of the promise of love. The ring is a nice reminder that your love is never ending, circular. But like many of us know, love may be never ending but it sure can be slim to none at times. So the never ending part is where commitment comes in. A wedding is based on love but everything that happens after the wedding is based upon your commitment to each other. Do you see how they are connected in marriage? Love is commitment and commitment is love. They are the same. But they are used at different times. One is used when life is easy and the other is used when life gets hard.


After realizing all of this, I took a look at my generation, the American culture and the world, I saw how uncommitted we as people really are. I mean, look at our divorce rate! Over 50% of couples get divorces, Christian and none. Even worse we have a doubling amount of adultery according in the marriages that ultimately lead to the increasing divorce rate. Don't even get me started on the huge percentage of single mom’s with fathers no where to be found. Now I truly understand why my grandmother said that the word Love is way to easily thrown around now days. What is love without commitment? Well, it is the statistics I just gave you. Doesn’t that make you angry?


Where is the commitment? What even is commitment? I looked up many different definitions on the word and found that the best way to define it is with the word pledge. To commit or pledge to stick by someone or something above all cost. So now you know. Do it.


But no matter what our government, schools or churches teach us about the worth or unworth in marriage, there will always be the word Commitment to make us ponder. You are either committed or not. There is no inbetween. I bet the average person can give you a great definition of commitment but I also bet they can’t give a good example of a couple who actually are committed to one another. Out of everyone in my life that I have ever come across, only four of them have parents that are still married. What kind of example of commitment is that? I’m sick of being shown what not to do instead of what we should do. Thanks a lot parents. No really, thanks so much to the parents who are actually trying to do marriage right and set a good example for their children. Because most parents just don’t care. They don’t care about anyone by themselves. The lack of commitment in a relationship is completely selfish. People are selfish. Love is selfless. Misxing the two is hard but it came  be done. People just need to learn how to be selfless. Like Christ said to be.


If you are not ready for commitment (A pledge to stick by above all cost.) then don’t get married… better yet don’t even date. We need to stop going around “loving” every datable person that walks by. In the American culture love just means sex, not commitment, but there is nothing that says commitment more than a positive pregnancy test now is there? But sadly without those wedding bands I talked about earlier, commitment to run away from a baby is still an option. Commitment or marriage may just be a words but look at the power they have.


I really hope that my generation is going to get this. I hope that more people are going to get a clue on what real commitment is. And marriage. A marriage that will push through all hardships. I hope that the divorce rate is going to come down twenty percent in the next ten years. I hope that children will be able to look at their parents love and commitment and want the same instead of seeking something different because their parents marriage sucked.


To hope these things is all I have left. I can’t do anything but hope that these things will change because I personally don’t want to be the next one to suffer from the lack of commitment. I want to be 100% committed to my husband even when I’m angry enough to hate him. I want to still choose commitment even when love is hard to find in my marriage. And I can only hope that my future husband will do the same with me because divorce is not an option in my book.


When I look at the last five couple who have gotten married in my life I have more hope. All of them have made it clear to each other and everyone else that divorce is not an option, commitment is the only road they are taking. And, so far so good.


So here is my marriage philosophy… We all want someone to love us enough to stay committed to us and be committed enough to us to love us when they don’t feel like it. If you have that, then your marriage will last.


Isn’t it a wonderful life?